Tired 2.0

on

I am tired

Of

  • feeling like I’ve let people down
  • upsetting people
  • feeling like I haven’t put enough energy or effort into my degree
  • feeling like I don’t have enough time to do my job
  • not talking to my friends enough
  • being slow at replies
  • fighting my eating disordered thoughts
  • dealing with the consequences of someone else’s actions
  • feeling scared of falling backwards
  • feeling scared that I’m not doing people proud
  • feeling like I’m letting down my friends who are no longer here
  • not spending enough time with my friends who are here
  • prioritising university
  • disliking myself
  • being tired
  • feeling upset
  • feeling guilty
  • letting myself feel guilty for things outside of my control
  • not being heard
  • letting my family down
  • feeling ashamed
  • feeling lost
  • feeling controlled by my past
  • covid
  • emails
  • worrying about the future
  • feeling like I’ve got to constantly be productive
  • not sleeping
  • feeling anxious
  • feeling silenced by other people
  • hiding my opinion
  • thinking
  • feeling
  • doing

I am so tired

But that doesn’t mean I will stop because I know things will get better. Things will get easier. It’s okay to sit with these feelings.

Sit. Feel. Process.

I am tired of feeling heavy

Because

I am filled with my truth.

I’ve said it before and I will again:

The truth needs to exist. Somewhere else. Other than inside of me. 

I need to free myself. Because, not everything that weighs me down is mine to carry.

Love E x

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